Have you heard the song “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes? It is beautiful and romantic. His voice is amazing and he is handsome. Of course he’s handsome. This guy is going places. But…. depending on the day, depending on who I’m with, that same exact song is maddening and depressing and the last thing that I want to hear. My sister and I changed the channel when we heard it in the car. We didn’t even discuss it, just looked at each other and skipped it. It’s not the kind of song you want to bust out singing on a happy day with your sister who you only see once a year.
It’s the kind of song that you want to hear after your husband cleans the kitchen, gives the kids baths and makes chocolate chip cookies. Maybe that’s just me? That would make me feel wanted.
On the other hand, there are days when every interaction with a human being feels draining….this song makes me even more miserable. I love AND hate this song.
The other day it came on Pandora….and I pressed skip. It had been a hard week with stressors I couldn’t control (work) and a house I couldn’t keep clean.
“Please excuse the mess; the kids are making memories.”
Yes, memories and messes. That’s pretty much what they do all day long.
It was the dirty dinner dishes at 8pm that pushed me over the edge. I knew they were there, waiting for me. But I hoped that someone had decided to do a little cleaning magic. There was no magic that night, just messes. The tears I had been holding back all week were waiting for me too. I cleared the table with my eyes flooding. I loaded the dishwasher with tears running down my face. I sobbed and it was ugly. My sweet kids ran into the kitchen to hug and kiss me. They know what’s important in life, and I completely admire that. They didn’t help with the dishes, just hovered around me, knowing something was wrong. A few minutes later the kitchen was better (a bit) and we sat down to watch a movie. Kaylee gave me a piece of paper, then stood shyly next to me while I read it.
I immediately thought of Hunter’s song “Wanted”. The song I didn’t want to hear as I cleaned the kitchen. The words I desperately needed to hear, the words that made my heart melt. I was wanted. She wanted me, in spite of my tears. She wanted me at the worst point of my whole week. That girl…..she’s pretty amazing. She didn’t bother adding flowers or rainbows or fairies, which is her signature style. She just got straight to the point: “I want you. I want to snuggle with you.”
“Despicable Me” was the movie we picked and it was really funny. We laughed at Gru and the minions. I want some minions!Kaylee sat on my right side, Joshua on the left and Grace was in my lap; I was surrounded on all sides by these little people who wanted me. Their little bodies snuggled my sadness away. My heart warmed, and I was wanted.